


The Easy Road

by reeby10



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alpha Bucky Barnes, Alpha Sam Wilson, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bucky Barnes Has Issues, Bucky Barnes is full of angst and shame, Emotional Baggage, Emotional Hurt/Comfort I guess, M/M, Minor Violence, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, POV Bucky Barnes, Pining, Pre-Relationship, Relationship Discussions, Sparring, internalized homophobia about alpha/alpha, or at least a hopeful one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-02
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2021-02-22 23:21:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23968657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reeby10/pseuds/reeby10
Summary: Alphas with alphas just wasn’t a thing that was done. Well, it might be done a bit more now, but it wasn’t exactly common either. Alphas were supposed to be with omegas; it was biology.Unfortunately Bucky’s biology wasn’t exactly getting the message.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Sam Wilson
Comments: 8
Kudos: 46
Collections: Id Pro Quo 2020





	The Easy Road

**Author's Note:**

  * For [chase_acow](https://archiveofourown.org/users/chase_acow/gifts).



Bucky had noticed from just about the beginning that Sam wasn’t exactly a traditional alpha, macho and overbearing in comparison with betas and omegas. A lot of alphas these days weren’t, it seemed, but he noticed it most in Sam. He noticed a lot in Sam if he was being honest.

And that was a problem, because for however nontraditional of an alpha Sam was, he was still an alpha. And so was Bucky.

Times were different now, he didn’t need anyone to tell him that — although some like Tony did, frequently, mostly to be a pain — but Bucky was having a hard time acclimating on this. Alphas with alphas just wasn’t a thing that was done. Well, it might be done a bit more now, but it wasn’t exactly common either. Alphas were supposed to be with omegas; it was biology.

Unfortunately Bucky’s biology wasn’t exactly getting the message. He wanted Sam. Wanted him bad. Wanted to have sex with him, sure, but also all the other little couples things.

He wanted to take Sam out on the town like he used to take pretty little omega girls out back before the war. Go dancing, go to dinner, maybe make out a little in the back of a taxi. Be a couple just like any other.

But they were both alphas, and that couldn’t happen even in the weird, primarily alpha superhero team they’d found themselves in. Bucky hated himself more than a little for wanting it all the same.

He was thinking about it when he went to the gym in the morning to train. It was empty — most everyone who lived there were out on a long mission, and the few who weren’t generally liked to sleep in — which he was glad of. Spending so much time dwelling on his deviant desire for another alpha was putting him in a bad mood. He headed over to the reinforced punching bags to beat some of the frustration out.

He lost track of time in the rhythmic pattern of punches, sweat just starting to drip from his brow. His mind was blissfully blank, not a thought or anxiety to disturb him. For the first time in weeks he felt peaceful.

A sound behind him surprised him and he whirled around to see who had disturbed him. Of course, _of course_ , it had to be Sam.

“Hey, man, what’s up?” Sam asked, seemingly not noticing how Bucky tensed up at the sight of him. “I was gonna do some weights, but since you’re here, you want to spar?”

Bucky wanted to say no if only because he didn’t want to be so close to Sam right now. He wasn’t sure he’d be able to control himself. Physical activity was a trigger for pheromones, so being up next to Sam — already unfairly attractive in loose shorts and a t-shirt — with sweat and pheromones all around… Bucky could feel himself hardening in his sweats just at the thought of it.

But Sam was looking at him with that look, eyes bright and smile just a little crooked, and Bucky couldn’t find it in himself to say no. That was probably just as bad, but he already knew he was weak for falling for another alpha instead of a nice little omega like he should.

“Sure,” he finally answered, after probably too long of a pause. He realized he’d been staring at Sam and shook his head, feeling himself flush a little.

“You sure you’re up to it?” Sam asked. His face had taken on a look of concern, probably from Bucky’s staring. Hopefully he chalked it up to literally anything other than what it was — Bucky’s inappropriate crush. “I’m cool just doing the weights if you need to take a break.”

Bucky shook his head. “No, no, it’s fine.”

Sam shrugged and stepped over to the matted area that was generally used for one on one sparring. Bucky followed, mentally berating himself. This was a terrible idea and he just knew it was going to end badly. There was a reason he usually only sparred with Steve or Natasha.

“Alright, let’s go!”

They got right into it, no hesitation. After this long, even with rarely fighting against each other these days, they knew what to expect. They knew each other’s moves, how they were likely to step or throw a punch. The sparring was a kind of intimacy — sweaty bodies close together, breath brushing against faces as they slide past one another, pheromones filling the room.

Bucky tried to push that thought away, especially the thought of how he’d really like even more intimacy than that, and the moment of distraction was enough for Sam to get the upper hand. All of a sudden, Bucky was falling to the mat face first, Sam pressed against his back as he twisted Bucky’s right arm up between his shoulder blades.

The air was punched out of Bucky’s lungs, as much from surprise as the impact with the mat. His mind was blank, the only thing he was aware of was Sam’s muscled body against his, his hips tight against Bucky’s ass.

It sent a bolt of arousal through Bucky, and there was no way Sam didn’t smell it. Usually this was a position Bucky would tap out of for another go during sparring, but suddenly he was panicking. Sam had to know what effect he was having on Bucky in this position, had to know now that Bucky was twisted and wrong in his desire for another alpha.

Fuck fuck fuck.

Bucky twisted his left arm all the way around, a feat that would be impossible if it was flesh and blood, and shoved at Sam hard. Probably too hard, but he wasn’t thinking about that now. All he was thinking was that he needed to get away immediately.

Sam flew back with a startled shout, landing against the wall a good ten feet away, hard enough that he’d probably bruise. Bucky bit back on the fresh surge of panic that realization brought and instead leapt up, ignoring the twinge in his right shoulder brought on by the way his arm had been pulled too far when he’d pushed Sam away.

He avoided looking at Sam, slumped sore and probably very confused against the wall, and ran for the door. He made it up to his room in record time, breathing hard.

Bucky barely had the presence of mind to order Friday to lock down his room before he collapsed in the far corner, arms wrapped tightly around his drawn up knees as he berated himself. He was barely aware that there were tears streaming down his face, mingling with the sweat he hadn’t stopped to wipe off when he fled the training room.

⁂

Sometime later — Bucky wasn’t sure when or how much time had passed, he’d lost track of time somewhere, feeling blank and empty like he was in cryo again except without ever quite losing consciousness — his door opened and he heard footsteps coming toward him. He tensed all over, but didn’t look up. There was really only one person it could be since Steve was still away on a mission.

“Lockdown protocols, my ass,” he muttered into his knees. Because out of everything, he was very sure he’d told Friday to prevent anyone from coming in. He didn’t want to be seen like this.

“I gave the override code,” Sam said, soft voice coming from only a couple of feet away. “And I’m not sorry about that, just in case you’re wondering.”

Bucky and Steve had agreed there needed to be an override on his room’s lockdown protocol just in case of… well, just in case. Only Steve was supposed to have the override code, but Bucky was honestly not surprised Sam had it too. Ever since Bucky came back, Sam had been there on the sidelines too. Supporting when he needed to, pushing back when he needed him to, just always there when he needed him to be.

It was probably one of the reasons Bucky had fallen for him, honestly. That dependability, all wrapped up in snark and stubbornness.

“You ok, man? You ran out of there pretty fast.”

And did some less savory things beforehand, which Bucky was glad Sam neglected to mention. He wasn’t sure he could deal with that part just yet. Fuck, he wasn’t sure he could deal with any of it just yet, but he was pretty sure Sam wasn’t going to just let it drop.

“I was a little… overwhelmed,” he finally replied, hoping that would be enough.

Sam knew full well that sometimes things got a little much for Bucky to handle. In a fight, it never did. But in normal, mundane things? Too often he felt brittle and unmoored and he was still trying to find a way to manage that.

“I figured as much,” Sam said. He waited a beat, and Bucky could practically feel the other man’s eyes on him even with his head still down. “What I don’t understand is why. I have some ideas, but I’m gonna need you to actually, you know, talk a little. Because I don’t think I can just ignore it.”

Bucky let out a sigh, pressing his eyes tightly closed for a moment. They felt gritty and dry after earlier, and honestly all he wanted to do was go wash his face and then crawl into bed and sleep for maybe a week. He really didn’t want to talk about anything, especially when Sam was standing in his room, still smelling strongly of that far too appealing alpha musk.

“Yeah.” Bucky sighed again, and finally looked up. Sam had his arms crossed over his chest, looking tense. Bucky wasn’t sure that what he had to say was going to do anything to help that. “You’re an alpha,” he said, at a loss, voice sounding far too loud to him in the room.

Sam grinned crookedly, relaxing minutely. “I’m aware,” he replied, amusement suffused in every word. “And so are you.”

And there was the problem. Apparently Sam could sense it, or see some change in Bucky at those words, because he frowned, eyebrows drawing together. Bucky could practically feel the tension in the room ramp up another notch.

“And it’s a problem that we’re both alphas?” Sam asked slowly, still frowning. “Because…?”

Bucky tried to bite back the words, but he was starting to feel panicked again and he just wanted this to be _over_. Whatever over happened to mean, whether that meant spilling his shame to Sam and them never speaking again or… well, he wasn’t really sure what other options there were.

“Because I like you and want you, and I _shouldn’t_. It’s wrong and I’m wrong, and it would probably be better if you just left, alright?” Bucky snapped out, feeling his face flame with shame. His whole body felt hot and tight, too small to contain all the terrible feelings welling in him.

For a moment, he thought Sam might just do what he said. Sam’s eyes went wide and he swayed on his feet, like Bucky’s words had been a physical blow. Was he disgusted by Bucky’s admission? As disgusted with Bucky as Bucky was with himself?

But then a smile started to grow on Sam’s face, the look of confusion and shock fading away. Bucky found himself confused now, because that wasn’t a look he was expecting to get.

“So you have a crush on me, huh?” Sam asked, voice neutral but with an edge to it, like he was holding some stronger emotion back. “I kinda thought that might be it, but you were acting so weird about it.”

“Because it _is_ weird,” Bucky replied. Was Sam not seeing that?

Sam shrugged, arms relaxing down to his sides. “Sure, alphas and alphas aren’t the norm,” he said. “But it’s not as big a deal as you’re making it. Plenty of the people I’ve dated have been alphas.” He paused, brow furrowing again. “Steve said you got around back in the day. Did you… have you never been with another alpha?”

“Of course not!” Bucky shouted, surprising even himself with the vehemence in his voice. Sam took half a step back, then purposefully took one forward. Like he was trying to prove something. “It’s not a done thing. Alphas should be with omegas, not other alphas.”

“I didn’t think you’d be such a stickler for that old kind of thinking.” Sam hummed, worrying at his bottom lip with his teeth. “But I guess there’s been a lot of changes since you were in the dating scene, huh?”

Bucky let out a laugh, something higher and more bitter than he wanted to admit. “You could say that.”

Sam looked at him for several long moments, an inscrutable look on his face, and Bucky fought against the urge to squirm. He was a grown man, the feared Winter Soldier, he could stand up to a little awkwardness. He silently repeated that to himself, hoping it would help make him actually believe it.

Finally Sam nodded as if agreeing with some statement only he had heard. Bucky’s hands flexed anxiously, the metal one digging shallow grooves into the floor. Tony would probably gripe at him for that later.

“It sounds like you’ve got a lot of issues about this whole alpha and alpha thing,” Sam said. “And I respect that, even if I think it’s kinda dumb to get hung up on that nowadays. I’m not really a tradition alpha anyway, you know? But I can see this means a lot to you, so I think we need to take this slow.”

Bucky nodded, because the other man seemed to be waiting for an answer. It earned him a small smile, and he tried not to let how attractive it made Sam look affect him. This wasn’t time for that, he was pretty sure.

But one thing he noticed that Sam hadn’t exactly addressed yet was if he actually returned Bucky’s feelings. That was kind of important here, since otherwise Bucky’s issues were really pretty superfluous.

“You’re talking about this like a… like a relationship,” Bucky managed to get out, flushing again. “You know how I feel about you, but I don’t know how you feel.”

Sam chuckled. “Yeah, I guess I haven’t been real explicit on that yet,” he replied. He crossed his arms over his chest again, and for the first time since he’d come in, Bucky thought he looked nervous. “I figured I’d been pretty obvious about it, but apparently not. I like you too, Bucky. A lot.”

Bucky expected the feelings of shame to return in full force at that admission, but somehow he actually felt… relieved. Yes, he was an alpha with feelings for another alpha, and he was still uncomfortable with that, but Sam was also an alpha with feelings for another alpha. With feelings for him. And as much as he and Sam poked at and teased each other — a type of messed up foreplay, if he was being honest with himself — he couldn't think of Sam as bad or wrong.

Carefully, still feeling a little unsteady, Bucky pulled himself to his feet. He stepped forward until he was only a foot away from Sam, close enough to really smell the sweat and pheromones on him. He breathed in deep, gut clenching with shame and want and hope.

“So what’s that mean for us?” he asked, voice quiet.

Sam met his gaze, and Bucky found he couldn’t look away from those beautiful brown eyes. They were both leaning forward a little, like some barrier between them had been broken sometime between the sparring down in the training room and now.

“It means we try to make this work,” Sam said, equally quietly. “And I think it is gonna be a lot of work. And I mean a lot of work. We’re both pretty messed up, you know? But I think it’s gonna be worth it.”

Bucky let out a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and smiled, small but realer than he thought he’d smiled in a long, long time. Sam was right. They were both messed up — and Bucky was pretty sure he was still messed up in ways no one had completely figured out yet, after decades with Hydra — but they were both willing to do the work.

Neither of them had ever been accused of taking the easy road, after all.


End file.
